A Short Story about Manners

I loathe it when the short people* try to order me around.

I was a babysitter for years before I had children and the little screams of "MILK!!" or "Give me _____!" drove me bananas.  So pretty much from birth, we've worked on "please," "thank you" and "wait your turn."

Elliot is pretty good about it all and is starting to have nice little manners.

But for the past few months, he's been saying "How are you doing?", which sounds an awful lot like "How you doin'?"

I'll say "Fine, thank you," then ask him how he's doing and he'll say "Yeh."

It drives me bananas.**

So we talked about how a much nicer answer is "Fine, thank you."  And he's been pretty good with it.

He gets the reasoning and the appropriate time to use the phrase, but lately he's been a little off in his elocution. ***  And it's fine with me because I talk to him all the time and understand almost everything that he says.  It all sounds pretty normal to my ears.

This morning, as I'm making Elliot's breakfast,**** Husband is walking through the kitchen as he's getting ready to leave for work.

Elliot says, "Mama, how you doing?"

I reply, "Fine, thank you," then I ask him how he's doing and he replies.

Husband starts laughing and asks if I am listening.

Apparently, to the untrained ear, Elliot's reply doesn't sound so much like "Fine, thank you" as it does "F@#@ you."

Oh well.






*By this I mean children, not midgets with bad manners.

 **Not only for the "Yeh," but also for the Jersey Shore-ness of it all.

***He's still little, not quite two.  So he still has a little trouble with some of the pronunciations.

****Putting waffles in the toaster. 

Norwegian lesson #1: Forbudt and "ha det"

Norwegian is a Germanic based language and can be challenging to learn, especially for someone like me whose language experience is limited to English, a smattering of Romance-based languages and a working knowledge of Pig Latin.

The vast majority of Norwegians know English and will use it when asked, so I am not completely stuck.

Husband is fairly fluent, so he's always fine and I can rely on him to help with communication issues when he's around.

We have Norwegian friends who are kind enough to speak English in front of me. But, I don't want to rely on all of their kindnesses because we're going to be living here for at least two years, if not longer. Plus, often a native speaker will slip back into Norwegian and I'm left in the dark and miss great bits of what seem to be really good stories. (Though some words are almost identical, in a few days I will tell the Kangaroo Body Parts story...)

In any case, I am an American living here. So, as a resident, I want to learn to speak and at least comprehend much of what goes on around me for a variety of reasons, the least of which is that I just think it's the polite and right thing to do.

So in my quest towards fluency, I am using several methods.

Immersion:
During the day, I often go to places alone where people are not quite as fluent, like the wine store. I use the bits I know and muddle through the rest with combinations of "Tusen takk" (Tooo-sen tock) which means "thanks so much" and pointing.

Osmosis:
Most morning I keep the Television tuned into the channels that only use Norwegian in the hopes that it will sink into my subconscious.

Tutoring:
Tomorrow, I will officially begin my lessons with an instructor and Husband has been coaching me through lots of lessons.

Self-study:
By using Husband's old language books and workbooks, I've figured out some conjugations, vocabulary and structure.

Going to the grocery store:
Much like reading a children's book (which is another method I will soon employ once I get a library card), the grocery store is full of items that I can identify by sight, so then I memorize the appropriate word, (red pepper=paprika, cheese=ost, milk=melk).

Word association:
There are just some connections that seem appropriate to me.

For example: "Forbudt" means "Forbidden"



Don't park here unless you meet certain conditions

And for some reason, "Forbudt" (Fuhrr-booodt) connects with "Forgetaboutit" (Fuhrr-get-ta-booot-it) in my head.

If you are over 18, let Donnie Brasco explain it to you



If you are under 18, learn about it through Mad TV
>

(To reiterate, the Norwegians mean "don't do it.")

Then there is a "ha det" (ha-da), which is a commonly used salutation, which is an informal way to say "good-bye, see you later." The inflection uses a higher pitch and emphasis on the first syllable.

Say it quickly and t may remind you of "Holla," which is also a commonly used American salutation, which means "See you later on, give me a call."

If you are over 18, the Ghetto Boys will help me explain what I mean...

I'd Like a Wombat for a Pet

So I mentioned yesterday that Husband turns on the television every morning for me...

On this particular morning he switched it up and turned it to MTV's Breakfast Show.

From my nook in the dining room, I heard this kicky tune that seemed vaguely reminiscent of The Kooks, who I love for a variety of reasons, so I ran around the corner to see who it was...



Sure they are cute boys with floppy hair who have named themselves after a marsupial, but best of all, check out that enunciation. Their mothers (and theater teachers) must be so proud...

This is the song The Wombats would like to dance to with you....



But this is my favorite remake...It's by a group called Nouvelle Vague, who remade New Wave songs in a bosso nova style...