The Girls

There have been lots of things I haven't been able to really talk about so much this year and at certain times haven't even been able to write about, at least not yet.*

First I was pregnant and we decided to keep it a secret until we were sure it was going to take.  But in the beginning, while we waited, I felt pretty awful and people guessed anyway, but I still didn't write about it and refused to confirm. 

And now for months, we haven't been sure whether or not we'd be in Stavanger for the last half of Husband's two-year contract.  The financial crisis spread around the world quickly and because he's in financial services, it bit us as well.  

So we've been waiting to see whether we would be packing up to head back to Atlanta (where we came from and still own a house that we haven't been able to sell) or would be staying here.

There was also the added bit of having to figure it all out by mid-December, which is the last approximate time frame I should hop on a plane for more than about four hours.**

So the time has been ticking closer to our deadline and this week, when people in Gainesvegas would ask when we would be appearing again, I would laugh and say, "Either next week or next June."  

But now, it's all be figured out.  We'll be living here, until at least next December.***

And as for when we will be back for good, I don't know for sure.  But definitely, we will be settled somewhere for the long haul by early 2015, which may sound like a long time from now, but really is only about six years.  

And, while there are a few other reasons, one of the key ones is because of The Girls. (Occasionally you may also hear me refer to them as The Calvary because they always show up, en masse, to save the day.)

The Girls have been my mother's best friends since BigD was in kindergarten.  Depending on how you count, there are about ten of them who went all through school together, some to college together as well.  Then they all went their separate ways, scattering all over the United States, South America and the rest of the world. 

They create things and have glamourous careers and travel and made families, but they always show up.  At the very least, each one of them comes to Gainesvegas around Christmas for the yearly lunch.  They rent out a private room somewhere, shut the door and if you walk by can hear the raucous laughter coming from inside.  

But they also show up during the rest of the time as well.   When Husband and I were getting married in a speedy and unconventional way, but still hoped for some of the more traditional trappings, they stepped in and threw the very best rehearsal party ever. 

And while Big D has had a pretty rotten year (other than our hitching, of course) they have been there, too, with emails and calls and showing up.  

Best of all, not only do they have almost sixty years of history with my family, they are fun. Because along with all the good, they've been through every single thing, but have always kept their perspectives and wicked senses of humor.  So when they appear, the levity does as well.

(Trust me, if you ever have the good fortune to meet one of them, try to stand next to her as long as possible.  It's good fun, I promise.)

Last week, on the morning of Nana's funeral, I was left at the house to open the door and answer the phone.  One by one, The Calvary assembled.  

They showed up with piles of food, and shooed me to go on and get dressed for the lunch before everything started happening.  But the best part was coming upstairs and listening to them talk: "We just borrowed the car and then we replanted the flower bushes.  Was that right after your fourteenth birthday?" and "I'm glad that both my kids have gotten neutered because four grandchildren in two years in about all I can handle."

And why does The Calvary matter in the plan Husband and I have on when we get settled somewhere? 

Because that's what we wish for Pickle. We hope that he will have a long time group of solid friends that he will be able to count on as much as he will his own family. And that they will be there to show up. 

I have the same Best Girls from 6th grade on up, a handful of great friends from college and New York and then a fantastic group from our time in Atlanta.  Husband has a solid group from college.  And we're cultivating a hilarious and diverse group here. They are all people we love, have amazing histories with and we all show up for each other in all the same ways...

But the best example we have are The Girls.  And they started when they were six, so that just seems like a good goal to work towards.  

So while lots of things are somewhat uncertain these days, some things aren't. 

And do the The Girls have partners?  Yep, and they show up, too.  And, when needed, man the bar. 

(One of these is not 1/2 of A Girl.)

*There's really not much that is off the table, in the overall sense.  (Unless the secrets are not mine.  I would never tell those. Notice how non-specific I am in this post...) Everyone I know, knows that if you are in my life, it's entirely possible you may one day be a character in something I commit to paper or some other permanent medium. The BigD is okay with this and I have the most dirt on her, so you should be okay with this, too. Plus, even though I am honest, I am also benevolent, so really, it's all good. 

**Getting from Stavanger from Atlanta takes 16-20 hours, at least two plane rides and there is one giant body of water to cross.  Even if a plane would let me on, which becomes more and more unlikely as the weeks pass, along with a few other things, the very last thing I'd like to do is deliver Pickle on a plane...unsafe, messy, embarrassing and far too far from the copious amounts of drugs I feel are essential. 

***Or until the next major financial crisis hiccup.  But at least until next June or, which is when Pickle will be about two months old, which is about as early as he should be on a plane...